Basic Mom Week in Review - 12/14/14

5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned

1. My 5-year-old drew this amazing picture of Santa being quite disrespectful to Rudolph:

Maybe that's why all of the other reindeer called him names. (Ba dum chuh!)

Lesson: My 5-year-old is far better at drawing reindeer than I am, but I should teach her how to make larger speech bubbles.

2. While I was attempting to eat apple slices and peanut butter, my toddler dipped her fingers in my peanut butter and discovered she LOVED peanut butter . . .

until the next day when I tried to give her a PB&J sandwich for lunch and she threw every single piece on the floor. Every. Single. Piece.

Lesson: My toddler will someday be a person who earnestly says, "Don't act like you know me!"

3. This Goldfish massacre . . .

 . . . while I was in the next room for three minutes trying to get a head start on dinner.

Lesson: My toddler can't be trusted to just eat the handful of Goldfish I put in her bowl . She will also dump the entire bag (that I stupidly left on the coffee table) all over the floor.

4. This conversation between my 5-year-old and my husband. 

5-year-old: Dad! The shelf fell down again!

Husband: How did that happen?

5-year-old: I don't know.

Husband: Well, you must have touched it.

5-year-old: . . .

Husband: Were you messing with it?

5-year-old: I mean, it was crooked.

Husband: Okay . . .

5-year-old: I mean . . . I knocked it down.

Lesson: Pray my 5-year-old is never a key witness in an important investigation.

5. My husband was out of town for a few days for work . . .

He sent updates that looked like this:

In response to the ones I sent that looked like this:

And then my five-year-old threw up all over my car on our way home from picking my husband up from the airport.

Lesson: I really need to plan a "work trip" soon. Also, I should pick up a new pack of air fresheners for my car.