Why a Non-Retouched Advertisement Made Me Angry

An advertisement for Aerie lingerie showed up in my Facebook feed the other day, and I had such a strong reaction to it that it made me angry. 

Here is the ad:

How could seeing this realistic and non-retouched image of a beautiful woman have possibly made me angry?

Because my initial reaction to the photo was surprise. I was surprised to see a woman with an abdomen that does not defy gravity, a woman whose sides aren't completely smooth and unlined when she lays in bed, a woman with a thigh bigger than my arm, a woman with skin that is not all impossibly even and unmarred, modeling lingerie.

I was angry because I noticed all of these things about her body before I noticed what she was modeling. I was angry because my first thought wasn't, "she's beautiful," but "hmmm, I wonder if this is part of some statement-making ad campaign."

I have been trained to see women with unattainable bodies modeling the underwear I should be wearing. I am used to looking at lingerie ads and feeling like I will never be good enough or beautiful enough to wear whatever they are trying to sell because I will never in a million years have those legs/abs/arms/breasts. I am used to thinking that I should want to look like those models instead of like me - that I would feel happy and sexy if only my body never creased or puckered or bruised.

I am angry with myself for feeling like my self-worth is related to my body-type. I am angry with myself for letting advertisements and television shows and movies make me feel this way. And mostly, I am angry with myself for the moments of weakness where I reveal these feelings in front of my daughters. 

But seeing an advertisement like Aerie's also makes me feel hopeful. 

I am hopeful that more and more companies will start using images that are not retouched beyond human possibility in their advertisements. I am hopeful that I will start accepting by own body and finding beauty in it, despite its tendency to give in to gravity (and ice cream). And, I am hopeful that I will find a way to raise my daughters to feel beautiful in their own non-retouched, real-human skin.