Why Sex Departed When Motherhood Arrived

Why Sex Departed When Motherhood Arrived

It's no secret that having children throws a wrench into your sex life. I hope I'm not over-sharing when I say (earmuffs, Mom), things "get intimate" around here, at best, a few times a month. (My husband is probably laughing now, "A few times?" Hey, I said at best.)

I'm sure there are lots of reasons why sex goes out the window once you have children: you are too tired, you are afraid the kids will hear, you ate too much ice cream once you finally got the kids to bed, you don't feel sexy carrying around your baby weight (maybe you should lay off the ice cream... ), etc.

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Don't Have Kids, Unless . . .

Don't Have Kids, Unless . . .

Let me start by saying that I love my kids more than I ever thought I'd love anything (except, maybe ice cream). But that doesn't mean there aren't times that I daydream about what my life would be like if I never had them - if my days weren't spent reading Sandra Boynton books,  attempting to teach animal sounds, telling my toddler not to get into the cupboard for the eightieth time,  cutting grapes into tiny pieces, reminding my 5-year-old to go the bathroom, sweeping up Cheerios, wiping up milk, finding lost pacifiers, squeezing Polly Pockets into stupid rubber clothes, sneaking away for five minutes to text my best friend and check Facebook to see what's happening on the outside...

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I'm So Fancy...

I'm So Fancy...

As a basic mom, I spend a lot of my time feeling decidedly not-fancy. In fact, I spend a good deal of time feeling borderline disgusting. There are Friday nights when I realize I haven’t had the opportunity to shower since Tuesday. I regularly wear jeans that I pretend do not have a mixture of kid snot and yogurt caked on them. Too many nights, I find that I've eaten half a bag of Doritos after my kids are in bed because it just feels so darn good to eat without little hands and voices trying to pull me away from my food.

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