9 Disgusting Things My Toddler Would Rather Eat Than Her Dinner

I understand that kids can be picky when it comes to food. I know it's unreasonable to expect every meal I make to appeal to my toddler. But it would be nice if she ate more than three bites of her dinner at least every once in a while. Instead, it seems that our dinner table is a battleground with my husband and I on one side urging my toddler to "just try the chicken" or "take three bites of your broccoli" and her resolutely on the other side, throwing rice on the floor and saying "done" before I've even had a chance to sit down. Meanwhile she spends the rest of the day attempting to eat various disgusting and mostly inedible things. 

Here are 9 disgusting things that my toddler would rather eat than her dinner:

1. Bath water

What is it about bath water? My toddler drinks it from her rinsing cup, sucks it out of her washcloth, and licks it off her bath toys - no matter how many times I tell her not to. How can water filled with soap, shampoo, and her own filth possibly be more appealing than the spaghetti and meatballs I made for dinner?

2. A stick she found at the park

It doesn't matter how long that stick has been there or how many animals have peed on it, my toddler would still rather eat it than take a single bite of her chicken tortilla soup.

3. Kinetic Sand

Sure, it kind of looks like brown sugar. But, it also looks like sand. And tastes like sand. Why is my toddler happy to shove handfuls in her mouth just minutes after refusing to try her pasta carbonara?

4. A yogurt melt she found in the folds of her carseat.

Now this yogurt melt may be left over from yesterday's snack on the way to the library, or it may be from the time she decided to dump the entire contents of her snack container on the way to the grocery store a couple weeks ago, or even from some other time I've forgotten about. Either way, she'd rather eat this yogurt melt, mysterious origins and all, than the plate of caramelized salmon and roasted asparagus I carefully arranged and cut into tiny pieces for her.

5. A Barbie doll's hand

My toddler will happily chew off a Barbie's hand on the way to a restaurant. But then when the server sets a plate of pasta with tomato sauce in front of her, she acts like it's poison. I mean, like how a normal person would react to poison (she would probably be delighted to eat poison, as evidenced by her stomach-full of plastic).

6. Crayons

Okay, I kind of get wanting to know how crayons taste because Crayola somehow manages to make them look like they might be delicious. But, one bite would be enough for me to realize that crayons are not food. My toddler, however, taste tests no less than three crayons every coloring session. I once had to check poison control's website regarding the toxicity of crayons because she had chewed a blue crayon beyond the point where I would be able to remove it all from her mouth. But the roasted chicken I made last week? She cried when I dared put a forkful near her mouth.

7. Her dress

You know what sounds better to my toddler than the teriyaki turkey meatballs that I spent all afternoon making? The hem of her dress. Particularly if we are out in public and she has an opportunity to inappropriately show off her abdomen and diaper cover.

8. My hair

I'm not kidding. Last week, while my hair was still wet from a shower, my toddler smelled it, said, "Apple!" and proceeded to attempt to take bites of it. It was probably the same night she left her entire portion of slow-cooker ribs and carrots uneaten.

9. A snack

Okay, so this one's not disgusting so much as FRUSTRATING. If my toddler asks for a snack, and I make her a turkey sandwich, she will generally eat most of it happily. If I set a turkey sandwich in front of my toddler and call it "dinner," she will generally throw most of it on the floor and declare that she is done.

What disgusting things do your toddlers like to eat?