Basic Mom Week in Review - 02/21/16

5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned

1. My 7-year-old made a "CapriSun" for her sister.

Lesson: My 7-year-old proved that she surpassed me in artistic ability years ago. Now she is just showing off.

2. While playing with some doll house toys at the library, my 2-year-old pretended to feed a doll some plastic spaghetti. Then she said the doll had "sketti on her," so she licked her finger and wiped the doll's face.

Lesson: If a pandemic breaks out in our city it will be my fault for habitually cleaning my daughter's face with my mom spit.

3. While eating apples and peanut butter, my 2-year-old decided to stick her toes in the peanut butter.

Lesson: Kids are disgusting.

4. My 7-year-old drew a "dream guitar" for my husband. Then she said she wanted to draw something similar for me. My husband told her to think about Mommy's interests. She said, "Well, there's food . . . [crickets]"

Lesson: It's a real blow when you realize your child sees you as a one-dimensional being with only one interest. I mean was it so hard for her to remember that I also like naps?

5. I caught my 2-year-old eating a Kit Kat like this:

Lesson: In case I didn't already know, it was confirmed that my 2-year-old is a monster.