Basic Mom Week in Review - 02/07/16

5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned

1. My 2-year-old had pink eye, and she attempted to avoid getting her eye drops by: (1) asking to "stay in timeout, please," (2) yelling, "I tired! I go to sleep!" and (3) using her super-human strength to twist, kick, and push herself away from me.

Lesson: (1) Timeouts are not effective when requested. (2) Naps, which are generally avoided by my 2-year-old, are an acceptable alternative to the 3 seconds of discomfort caused by an eye drop. (3) My 2-year-old is stronger than me.

2. My family made me breakfast in bed.

Lesson: Apparently "making Mommy breakfast in bed" is code for "tricking Mommy into feeding us eggs and fruit in her bed."

3. My 2-year-old spilled a small bottle of bubble-liquid on my dad's lap, creating a situation that very much looked like he had an accident. He gladly turned to me and smiled for a picture.

Lesson: Grandkids get away with everything.

4. My mom was lamenting that she should have been born a couple decades earlier because she thinks technology is taking over, self-driving cars are terrifying, etc. Then a Game of Thrones promo came on, and she said, "I mean I'm glad I wasn't born THAT long ago."

Lesson: Someone should probably tell my mom that dragons aren't real.

5. We got a book called Vegetables in Underwear from the library. There is a picture of a potato wearing tiny underwear, so while I was reading it for the first time to my 2-year-old, I said something like, "Oh no, his butt crack is showing!"

The next time we read it she pointed at the potato and said, "Crack-a-butt!" (I can only assume she forgot exactly what I said and was attempting to say "crack of butt.")