Basic Mom Week in Review - 01/31/16

5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned

1. My 7-year-old brought this home from school:

Translation: If I had one million dollars I would buy . . . every single Monster High doll in the entire world. Because they come with awesome shoes.

Lesson: My daughter would use "awesome shoes" as a justification for a major decision.

2. I found a few chipmunks hanging out by the heat vent in my bathroom:

Lesson: Apparently, my 2-year-old thought Alvin, Simon, and "Fee-door" were cold.

3. After "making me lunch" in her play kitchen, this is how my 2-year-old cleaned up:

Lesson: My 2-year-old's "playing house" game is pretty accurate.

4. While out to lunch with a friend, I harmlessly mentioned that my 2-year-old had almost fallen asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant. This caused my 2-year-old to flip out. She started crying and pulling on my shirt and insisting, "I NO sleep in car!"

So, when she fell asleep about 2 minutes into our drive home, I took this picture as proof to hold against her in later arguments regarding whether or not she sleeps in the car:

Lesson: I am not above petty arguments with my 2-year-old.

5. This conversation with my husband:

Me: I took the new Pottermore sorting hat test.

Husband [jokingly]: What did you get? Slytherin?

Me:  [gives Husband squinty evil eyes] 

Husband [seriously]: Just kidding. Hufflepuff, obviously.

Me [shooting death lasers from my eyes]: No! Ravenclaw. I'm smart!

Husband: Oh, I just thought Hufflepuff because -

Me: I'm fat?

Husband: No. You just enjoy food. 

Me: . . .

Husband: And the slower things in life.

Lesson: There is a recently single Ravenclaw looking for a fellow Ravenclaw or Gryffindor to take her out for butterbeers.