Basic Mom Week in Review - 05/22/16

5 Things That Actually Happened This Year and the Lessons I Learned

1. My 2-year-old (who eats things like spaghetti and soup with her hands) insisted on eating tortilla chips with a fork.

Lesson: Trying to understand 2-year-old logic is a waste of energy.

2. My 2-year-old hit her grandma. This conversation followed:

Grandma: You just hit me. What do you say?

2-Year-Old: Thank you.

Lesson: Laughter was probably not the best parenting response to this. Sorry Mom!

3. My husband was out of town, bed time was approaching, three baskets of unfolded laundry were staring at me, and I was busy preparing for the school's Spring Fling (for which I was a co-chair). So, of course, out of nowhere, my 2-year-old puked all over the living room floor (and the new rug).

Lesson: Two cups of milk in 15 minutes is too many cups of milk.

4. My husband was out of town, so he called every evening to say good night to the girls. On Wednesday when he called, my 2-year-old was playing on the iPad. After my 7-year-old's turn on the phone, she took the iPad so my 2-year-old could talk to Daddy. My 2-year-old immediately started crying, and the only thing she would say into the phone was "I don't want to!," which led to this conversation:

Me: This is the only time you get to talk to Daddy today. What's more important, Daddy or the iPad?

2-Year-Old (without hesitation): The iPad!

Lesson: Never ask a question to which you don't really want to know the answer.

5. I got the job of cotton-candy-maker at the school's Spring Fling, which means by the end of the night my face and chest were coated in a layer of sugar, I had cotton candy strands in my hair and eyelashes and all over my clothes, my right arm looked like it had a thick coat of pink fur, people I don't even know were laughing and taking pictures of me, and a kid told me I looked like the abominable snowman.