The first time you experience the "is it chocolate or poop?" situation is pretty much like putting on the sorting hat.  Do you laugh at the adventures of motherhood? Gryffindor. Do you consider the possible effects of exposure to human feces on your immune system? Ravenclaw. Do you wipe it on your spouse's shirt? Slytherin. Do you lick it off your hand and pray it's chocolate? Hufflepuff.